The Voice
2022-08-26, 9:41 p.m.

Deep in my dreamland of black and greys, I searched for my car. I've had variations of this dream for as long as I can remember. I'm always in this never-ending dreary landscape. I doubt my search, in reality, is for a car but it's most often what I seek.

In the distance, I heard my name being called but it's not the name people who love me use.

Over and over I heard my name,,,, James,,, James,,,,,, sometimes it was loud and sometimes it was soft but never stopped.

Finally, I realized it was not in the dream world that I was being summoned but in the waking world.

Groggy still from the beers and pills I had a few hours before I rose from bed to investigate the origin of the voice.

When I opened the door to my bedroom the scent of eggs wafted up the stairs from the kitchen below.

I was fairly hungry as I had fasted the night before so the smell of food cooking drew me like a magnet.

Once I arrived in my kitchen Vilma was cooking away and asked me if I wanted juice or coffee. I muttered coffee under my breath as she served me a plate of eggs, Frioles, and Queso Fresco.

In between shoveling food down my throat, I asked if she had been shouting my name.

Her Spanish was loud and fast but I was able to pull the main points out which were that I didn't answer my phone and my bedroom door was locked.

Little does she know that she is one of the reasons I lock my door.

I think she took my daughter Dalene's orders to watch me while the family was on vacation a little too serious.

Or maybe it was when my daughter walked away and Vilma spoke to me like a child that gave her ideas.

Vilma said, “you need to behave and listen.”

Not wanting to lose a chance to be a smart ass I said, “oh, I'm going to be very bad.”

Then when she smiled at that I followed up with “will you punish me if I'm bad?”

She just laughed so I walked away not thinking twice about it.

So that brings us back to today and me eating like a savage and Vilma in my kitchen.

I guess what I'm trying to say is it was kind of her to cook and look in on me but she is not for me.

I know that may sound cruel or cold but I have no love for her and just because she is close in proximity isn't a guarantee to win my affection.