The Secret Of Being Happy
2022-12-04, 6:37 p.m.

A 6ft Christmas tree sits in the corner of our living room. Its tall but thin stature makes it feel malnourished and fragile. It doesn't help that the decorations and lights are poorly placed and scarce.

This sad-looking Charlie Brown tree is fitting for my mood. Fran is not here so everything should be somber and dead. I resent this tree and its piney scent if it should ooze anything it should be burnt sulfur.

Yesterday, we had a memorial dinner for Fran and our whole little clan took up a large table in the back of Chili’s.

Each kid and spouse controlled a part of the table and in each fiefdom, there were different rules and regulations.

They would have you think this chaos called dinner was all part of the plan. They would have you think they were kings and queens but the reality is it's their kids.

As I sit among them and stare at them and then through them.

I think to myself “Am I happy?”

“Is this how happy feels? “

“Do I even deserve to be happy?”

If there is a Christmas miracle let it be of course world peace.

But if there were a runner up I would want it to be the secret to happiness.