The Room
2023-03-27, 6:37 p.m.

My bedroom window is open and I can hear a light rain falling. The room is dark as it often is when I'm home and only lit by the TV.

Darlene’s birthday is in a few days so I whip out my phone and send her some cash with happy emojis. Realizing that gesture is lacking I also invite her to dinner at her favorite seafood place.

Several hours pass and I receive no call or text and I'm still in my dark room. I remind myself she has three kids now and most likely has her hands full. She will answer eventually and we will sort out our plans.

I look at the two custom linen shirts I had made that are hanging from the back of my bedroom door. I think about escaping my dark room and putting one on and dining somewhere nice.

That thought is fleeting and comical because I know I need everything ready for my part-time job. I will go over my wardrobe several thousand times before I go back to work even though nothing has changed.

Shirts, slacks, shoes, and ties are all on standby until the moment I need them.

I even bought new glasses something I rarely use when I type these entries but a necessary part of my ensemble.

My solitude was just ruined as the front door opened and small children shriek in the distance. I don't want to leave the darkness of my room but now I must so that I can keep my sanity.

I throw on a black hoodie over some black chinos and a black graphic tee. It's a shame I need to flee my home at times to keep my sanity but we all have our burdens.

I have traded the darkness of my room for the darkness of the world.

I hope to go unnoticed as I make my rounds. Like a thief in the night only pausing briefly to stuff my pockets full of shiny baubles.

One day soon there will be nothing but sun as I sit on a beach in Puerto Rico. I half-joke to myself that the sun will erase my dark soul from existence.

Shorts, sandals, and sleeveless tees will be my wardrobe. Another place, another time, and more importantly another me.